1. Once children reach a certain age, and before they resent you, they are excellent at fetching things. If you have more than one, they can be persuaded to do menial tasks if you make it a competition.
2. You cannot be judged for purchasing games, toys, or children's music and DVDs.
3. You can opt out of virtually anything with a vague reference to the children or school.
4. You have an excuse to go to Legoland, Disneyland or similar.
5. Small children can say things to people that you'd love to say, but can't.
6. Children can make you laugh constantly. My latest:
Me: curiosity killed the cat you know
Child: which cat?
7. They are an excellent reason not to be able to work.
8. Boredom becomes a thing of the past.
9. You can claim that your encyclopaedic knowledge of Peppa Pig is just because it's on for the children.
10. It is nice to be told you are the best at everything you do, even if you know the day will come when they think you are the worst at everything you do.
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